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Questions worth recording
Specific questions to ask the people you love, while you still can. Choose the person you have in mind, or read one question at a time.
Most people never record their family because they sit down, press record, and go blank. "Tell me about your life" is too big a door to walk through. A pointed question is not. Ask someone what they felt the first time they held their child, and you will not be able to stop the story.
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Get our free PDF, 22 questions to record with your parents before it is too late, sent straight to your inbox.
Find the right list for who you are recording
Every relationship deserves its own questions. Pick the person you have in mind, or search by name.
The full library
58 prompts, grouped by moment
No equipment or plan needed. A phone against a stack of books, one question at a time, ten minutes at a sitting. Keep it short, let them wander, and do it this week.
For an aging parent
Start here if a parent is getting older or facing illness. Keep each sitting short, ten minutes is plenty, and let them wander. The tangents are usually the gold.
- 01What is a memory of your own parents that you think about most?
- 02What were you like as a teenager? Who did you think you would become?
- 03How did you and Mom or Dad meet, and what do you remember about the first time you knew?
- 04What was the hardest year of your life, and how did you get through it?
- 05What is a decision you are proud of, even if it looked wrong at the time?
- 06What did you worry about as a young parent that turned out fine?
- 07Is there anything you have never told me that you want me to know?
- 08What do you want the grandchildren to remember about you?
- 09What does a good day look like to you now?
- 10What are you still curious about?
For your children
These are for the moments you might not be in the room for. Record them plainly, the way you would talk across a kitchen table.
- 01What did I feel the first time I held you?
- 02What do I most want you to know about who you are?
- 03What is a mistake I made that I hope you never repeat?
- 04How do you know when you have found the right person?
- 05What should you do when you feel completely lost?
- 06What did my own parents get right, and what did I try to do differently?
- 07What is worth spending money on, and what is not?
- 08What do I want you to say to your own kids one day?
- 09What made me laugh the hardest in my life?
- 10If I am not there, what would I tell you on your wedding day?
For a grandchild, including one you may never meet
Grandparents carry the stories that skip a generation. A short message now can reach a child who is not born yet.
- 01What was the world like when I was your age?
- 02What is the story of our family that I do not want to be forgotten?
- 03What did your parent, my child, do that made me proudest?
- 04What tradition do I hope you keep?
- 05What is one thing I learned the hard way that might save you the trouble?
- 06What do I hope you inherit from me, and what do I hope you leave behind?
- 07What would I want to tell you on the day you graduate?
- 08What is a small, ordinary thing that made me happy?
For your spouse or partner
The message people most regret not recording is the one for the person beside them. This is for if you go first.
- 01What is the moment I knew I wanted a life with you?
- 02What did you teach me without ever trying to?
- 03What do I want you to remember on a hard day?
- 04What do I hope for you in the years I might miss?
- 05What are the ordinary days I would relive if I could?
- 06What do I want you to feel free to do after I am gone?
- 07What is the argument I am glad we had?
- 08What have you given me that I never properly thanked you for?
The stories only they can tell
Every family has a handful of stories that live in one person. When that person is gone, so are the stories. Ask for these by name.
- 01What is the story of how you got your first job?
- 02What is a time you were braver than you felt?
- 03What is the best trip you ever took, and who were you with?
- 04What is a friendship that changed your life?
- 05What is a piece of history you lived through, and what was it actually like?
- 06What is the meaning behind your name, or the names you chose for your children?
- 07What is a family recipe, and the story that comes with it?
- 08What is something everyone gets wrong about your generation?
Advice, values, and the things you believe
Advice lands better in a voice than on paper. These draw out the beliefs a person spent a lifetime forming.
- 01What does a life well lived look like to you?
- 02What is worth being stubborn about, and what is worth letting go?
- 03What do you believe about money that you wish you had known at twenty?
- 04How do you forgive someone, or yourself?
- 05What is the difference between the friends who stayed and the ones who did not?
- 06What would you tell someone who is scared right now?
- 07What are you certain about, and what have you changed your mind on?
- 08What is the one piece of advice you would want repeated at your funeral?
The harder questions, when you are ready
Some of the most treasured recordings come from the questions people are afraid to ask. Offer them gently, and never push.
- 01Are you afraid of anything right now, and can we talk about it?
- 02What do you want us to know about how you want to be cared for?
- 03What would you want said, and by whom, when the time comes?
- 04Is there anyone you want to forgive, or ask forgiveness from?
- 05What are you most at peace with?
- 06What do you hope we understand once you are gone?
Keep the recording somewhere it will actually reach them
A video on your phone gets lost in ten thousand others. Shtello Legacy lets you record a message, choose who it is for, and decide when they receive it: on a future date you pick, or held safely until the right moment. The video stays private until then, and only the person you chose can ever watch it.
Start freeCommon questions
Why do specific questions work better than 'tell me about your life'?+
Open questions make people freeze, because they do not know where to start. A specific question hands them a door to walk through. Ask 'what did you feel the first time you held me' instead of 'talk about being a parent', and the real story comes out.
How long should each answer be?+
Short is fine. Two to four minutes per question is plenty, and several short recordings are easier to keep and rewatch than one long one. Stop before the person gets tired.
What is the easiest way to record these?+
A phone propped against a stack of books works. Sit across from each other, ask one question, and let them talk. You do not need good lighting or a script, you need their voice.
How do I keep these messages safe and get them to the right person later?+
That is what Shtello Legacy is for. You record a message, choose who receives it, and pick whether it is delivered on a future date or held for them. The video stays private until then. It is free to start.