Why a video message to your future grandchildren for when you are gone matters
You can record a message for grandchildren who are not born yet. It sounds strange until you imagine a child, decades from now, hearing your voice for the first time. A message for after you are gone is the one most people mean to record and never do. It does not have to be a goodbye. It can simply be you, talking to your future grandchildren, on an ordinary day.
Do not try to say everything. Say one true thing, one story, and one wish. That is a complete message. End with a blessing, in whatever form fits your family. That is the part they will keep.
Three angles to take
Pick one. A message that tries to do all three usually does none of them well.
The blessing
Whatever your tradition, end with a blessing. A hope for their life, said once, in your voice, is the part they will play on the hard days.
Introduce yourself to a stranger who shares your name
Assume they know nothing. Say who you are, where the family came from, what you believed in. Say it the way you would to a child sitting on the floor in front of you.
The story only you know
Tell one story about your future grandchildren or the family that will vanish if you do not. It gives the message a reason to be rewatched beyond grief.
12 prompts to get you talking
Answer two or three of these on camera and you have a message. Half are about your future grandchildren; half are about after you are gone.
- 01What would you want them to know about how much they were wanted before they existed?
- 02What is one story about them that only you know?
- 03What was their parent like as a small child?
- 04What do you want them to hear in your voice on the hardest day?
- 05What is a family saying, song, or recipe you want to survive?
- 06What do you want them to stop feeling guilty about?
- 07What did the world look like when you were young, in a detail they would never guess?
- 08What family story will be lost if you do not tell it now?
- 09What do you believe about how to treat people, said simply?
- 10What do you believe about what matters, said simply?
- 11What do you hope they are brave about?
- 12What did they give you that they may not realize?
A sample 60-second script
Replace the bracketed parts with your own words. Read it once, then put it down and talk.
Hi kids. If you are watching this, I am gone, and I want the first thing you hear from me to be ordinary. So: hi. It is me.
I am recording this [when, in what setting]. Nothing is wrong. I just wanted you to have this.
I want you to know [the one sentence you most need them to hear].
I remember [a story about them that only you can tell].
Do not carry [the thing you want to release them from]. Live your life. I love you, and I always will.
When to deliver it
This kind of message is usually delivered by the check-in rather than by a date.
This message is built for the check-in. You check in on a simple schedule, and if you stop responding and miss the reminders over the grace period, the message is delivered to your future grandchildren. Nothing is sent while you are here and checking in.
You can also name a trusted person who can confirm the delivery, and you can re-record or add to the message as the years pass. Many people record a fresh one every year or two, so the version delivered is recent.
Record it while the words are fresh
Free to start. Record on any phone, choose who it is for, and decide when it arrives.
Common questions
How is a video message for when you are gone delivered to grandchildren who do not exist yet?+
You record it now and set it to deliver on a future date, or keep it on hold and name a trusted family member, usually your child, who can release it when the time is right. It stays sealed and private until then.
Is a video message for when I am gone the same as a will?+
No. Shtello Legacy is for personal messages, not legal documents. It does not replace a valid will. It is the part a will cannot do: your face and voice, saying the things that matter to your future grandchildren.
How long should the video message be?+
Two to four minutes is plenty. A short message that sounds like you is worth far more than a long one that does not. If you have more to say, record a second message rather than one long one.
Can I change the message later?+
Yes. You can re-record or delete it any time before it is delivered. Once a message has been delivered, it cannot be unsent.