Why a video message to your future grandchildren for their wedding day matters
You can record a message for grandchildren who are not born yet. It sounds strange until you imagine a child, decades from now, hearing your voice for the first time. A wedding day is loud, fast, and over by midnight. A video message is the one part of it they can sit with quietly, the morning of or years later.
If you can, say something about the person they are marrying. It tells your future grandchildren you are welcoming them both. End with a blessing, in whatever form fits your family. That is the part they will keep.
Three angles to take
Pick one. A message that tries to do all three usually does none of them well.
A blessing for two people
End by speaking to both of them. Welcome the new spouse by name, say what you see in them, and give the couple whatever blessing fits your family.
What a long marriage actually takes
If you have been married a long time, say one honest thing about what kept it together. If you have not, say what you learned from watching one.
Their parent, as a child
Tell them one story about their mother or father growing up that only you know. It will be the first time they hear it, and it will make their parent human.
12 prompts to get you talking
Answer two or three of these on camera and you have a message. Half are about your future grandchildren; half are about a wedding day.
- 01What blessing would you give them if they were sitting in front of you right now?
- 02What is one small habit that keeps a marriage warm?
- 03What do you believe about how to treat people, said simply?
- 04What do you admire about the person they chose?
- 05Who are you, in three sentences, for someone who never met you?
- 06What do you want them to remember about this morning, years from now?
- 07Where did the family come from, and what did it cost to get here?
- 08What is the best marriage you ever witnessed, and what made it work?
- 09What was their parent like as a small child?
- 10What is one thing you hope they never stop doing for their partner?
- 11What is a family saying, song, or recipe you want to survive?
- 12What would you tell them about the first hard year?
A sample 60-second script
Replace the bracketed parts with your own words. Read it once, then put it down and talk.
Kids, it is me. By the time you watch this it is their wedding day, and the house is probably chaos, so I will keep it short.
I remember [a specific memory of them and the person they are marrying, or of them talking about them].
Marriage, as far as I can tell, is mostly [one honest sentence about what it takes].
To [partner's name]: welcome. You are family now, and I mean that.
To both of you: be kind when you are tired. That covers most of it. I love you.
When to deliver it
This message can be delivered on a date, held until you release it, or tied to your check-in.
If the wedding date is set, schedule the message for that morning and it arrives before the day starts. If the date is not set yet, or your future grandchildren is not engaged, record it now and keep it on hold. You can release it yourself the moment the day is announced.
Some people also record a wedding message for the check-in, so that if they are not here for the wedding, the message is delivered anyway. Nothing is sent until you choose, or until your check-in lapses after the grace period.
Record it while the words are fresh
Free to start. Record on any phone, choose who it is for, and decide when it arrives.
Common questions
How is a video message for their wedding day delivered to grandchildren who do not exist yet?+
You record it now and set it to deliver on a future date, or keep it on hold and name a trusted family member, usually your child, who can release it when the time is right. It stays sealed and private until then.
What if my future grandchildren is not engaged yet?+
Record the message now while you have the words, and keep it on hold. You can set the date later, or release it yourself the week of the wedding. It stays private and sealed until then.
How long should the video message be?+
Two to four minutes is plenty. A short message that sounds like you is worth far more than a long one that does not. If you have more to say, record a second message rather than one long one.
What if I get emotional while recording?+
Keep going. The messages people treasure are the honest ones, and a cracked voice is honesty. You can also pause, rest, and continue later in the same message.