Why a video message to your future grandchildren for their bar mitzvah matters
Many grandparents arrive after the grandchildren who would have loved them are already grown, or never arrive at all. A recording closes that gap in time. Families often say the bar mitzvah speech is the hardest thing to write. A video message is easier: you are not performing, you are just talking to them.
Connect them to the people who came before: a grandparent who would have been there, a tradition the family kept through hard years. End with a blessing, in whatever form fits your family. That is the part they will keep.
Three angles to take
Pick one. A message that tries to do all three usually does none of them well.
The people who would have been in the room
Name one relative who is not here to see this, and tell them what that person would have said. It puts them in a line that goes back a long way.
What you see in them already
Tell them one quality you already see, with an example from the past year. Thirteen-year-olds need evidence.
Introduce yourself to a stranger who shares your name
Assume they know nothing. Say who you are, where the family came from, what you believed in. Say it the way you would to a child sitting on the floor in front of you.
12 prompts to get you talking
Answer two or three of these on camera and you have a message. Half are about your future grandchildren; half are about a bar mitzvah.
- 01What was their parent like as a small child?
- 02What tradition do you hope they carry forward?
- 03Where did the family come from, and what did it cost to get here?
- 04What did they do in the last year that showed you they were growing up?
- 05What do you believe about how to treat people, said simply?
- 06What is a story about your own bar mitzvah, or about a family one, that they should hear?
- 07What did the world look like when you were young, in a detail they would never guess?
- 08What does responsibility look like in your family, in everyday terms?
- 09What blessing would you give them if they were sitting in front of you right now?
- 10What do you admire about how they treat their friends or siblings?
- 11What do you hope they are brave about?
- 12What blessing would you give them in one sentence?
A sample 60-second script
Replace the bracketed parts with your own words. Read it once, then put it down and talk.
Kids, mazel tov. I wanted you to have something from me that was not a speech in front of everyone.
This year I watched you [one example of growing up: the practice, the patience, a kindness].
[A relative who is not here] would have been so proud today. They would have said [what they would have said].
Being a man, as far as I can tell, is mostly [one plain line].
My blessing for you is [your blessing]. I love you.
When to deliver it
This message can be delivered on a date, held until you release it, or tied to your check-in.
If the date is set, schedule the message for that morning. If your future grandchildren is still small, record it now and set the date when it is known, or keep it on hold and release it yourself the week of.
Grandparents sometimes record a bar mitzvah message years early, so that if they are not there for the day, the message still is. A dated message is delivered on its date no matter what.
Record it while the words are fresh
Free to start. Record on any phone, choose who it is for, and decide when it arrives.
Common questions
How is a video message for their bar mitzvah delivered to grandchildren who do not exist yet?+
You record it now and set it to deliver on a future date, or keep it on hold and name a trusted family member, usually your child, who can release it when the time is right. It stays sealed and private until then.
Can I record a bar mitzvah message for my future grandchildren years before the date?+
Yes. Record it now, keep it on hold or set the date when it is known, and it stays sealed until that morning. You can re-record it as the years pass if you want the version delivered to be recent.
Can anyone else see the message before it is delivered?+
No. The video stays private and sealed until it is delivered to the person you named. Nobody, including our team, can watch it before then. After delivery, only the recipient can view it, and they can save their own copy.
Can I change the message later?+
Yes. You can re-record or delete it any time before it is delivered. Once a message has been delivered, it cannot be unsent.