Why a video message to your husband when he has his first baby matters
Your husband probably hears what needs doing more often than he hears what he means to you. A video message is a chance to change the balance, once, in a form he can keep. When your husband becomes a parent, he will suddenly understand things about you that he never could before. A recorded message can meet him there.
Tell him about his own first weeks, or his parent's. It connects the exhaustion to something older and gentler. Be specific. A real moment beats any general compliment.
Three angles to take
Pick one. A message that tries to do all three usually does none of them well.
A message for the baby
Record a second short piece, speaking to the baby directly, to be opened years later. Say who you are and how wanted this child was.
The night he was born
Tell him what it was like when he arrived, or what you remember of his earliest weeks. He is about to understand that story for the first time.
The thing he got right
Pick one decision he made, or one hard stretch he carried, and say that he got it right. Husbands rarely hear that from the person whose opinion matters most.
12 prompts to get you talking
Answer two or three of these on camera and you have a message. Half are about your husband; half are about a first baby.
- 01What does he do with the kids or the family that you quietly watch?
- 02What is the one sentence you want him to hear at three in the morning?
- 03What is the one sentence you want him to hear on a day you cannot be there?
- 04What do you remember about the first week after a baby in your own life?
- 05What is a small habit of his that you would miss most?
- 06What is one thing about his character that will make him a good parent?
- 07What have you learned about patience or loyalty from him?
- 08What do you want him to know about the fear that comes with a newborn?
- 09What do you hope he stops being hard on himself about?
- 10What family tradition would you love to see continue with this child?
- 11What did you notice about your husband early on that turned out to be true?
- 12What did your own parents get right that you hope he repeats?
A sample 60-second script
Replace the bracketed parts with your own words. Read it once, then put it down and talk.
[Name], it is me. There is a new person in the family, and I wanted to say a few things while it is fresh.
When you were born, [what you remember or were told about that day].
You do not have to be perfect. [One sentence of reassurance.]
If it gets hard, remember [one thing: that it passes, that you can call, that everyone feels this].
Welcome to the club. I love you both.
When to deliver it
This message can be delivered on a date, held until you release it, or tied to your check-in.
If the due date is known, you can schedule the message for a day or two after. Many people prefer to keep it on hold and release it themselves once the baby has arrived, so the timing is right.
If you want the message to reach your husband at his first baby even if you are no longer here, record it for the check-in as well. If you stop checking in, the message is delivered after the grace period, and your husband hears from you at the moment he most wants to.
Record it while the words are fresh
Free to start. Record on any phone, choose who it is for, and decide when it arrives.
Common questions
Will a video message to my husband for when he has his first baby feel too heavy?+
Not if it is honest and short. Say one true thing, tell one story, and end warmly. The messages that feel heavy are the ones that try to say everything at once. Two or three minutes is plenty.
My husband does not have children yet. Should I still record a first-baby message?+
Yes, if the thought moves you. Record it now, keep it on hold, and release it when the baby comes. If you are not here by then, a trusted family member or the check-in can deliver it for you.
How long should the video message be?+
Two to four minutes is plenty. A short message that sounds like you is worth far more than a long one that does not. If you have more to say, record a second message rather than one long one.
Do I need special equipment to record it?+
No. Any phone, tablet, or computer with a camera works, in the browser, with nothing to install. Find a quiet spot with light on your face, prop the phone up, and talk.