Why a video message to your wife when she has her first baby matters
The things you most want your wife to know are probably the ones you assume she already does. Say them anyway, on camera, so there is no doubt. When your wife becomes a parent, she will suddenly understand things about you that she never could before. A recorded message can meet her there.
Do not give instructions. New parents are drowning in them. Give reassurance and one story. Skip the jokes for once, or keep just one. Let the rest be plain.
Three angles to take
Pick one. A message that tries to do all three usually does none of them well.
A message for the baby
Record a second short piece, speaking to the baby directly, to be opened years later. Say who you are and how wanted this child was.
The night she was born
Tell her what it was like when she arrived, or what you remember of her earliest weeks. She is about to understand that story for the first time.
The ordinary day you remember
Pick one ordinary day from your marriage, not a wedding or a trip, and describe why you remember it. It tells her what you actually treasure.
12 prompts to get you talking
Answer two or three of these on camera and you have a message. Half are about your wife; half are about a first baby.
- 01What is a hard year you got through together, and what did she do that got you through it?
- 02What does she not need to worry about, in your experience?
- 03What do you want her to know about how you feel when you see her across a room?
- 04What is one thing about her character that will make her a good parent?
- 05What did you notice about your wife the first time you met that is still true?
- 06What did your own parents get right that you hope she repeats?
- 07What do you hope she never doubts about herself?
- 08What family tradition would you love to see continue with this child?
- 09What is a small habit of hers that you would miss most?
- 10What do you remember about the first week after a baby in your own life?
- 11What is an ordinary day with her that you would relive?
- 12What is the one sentence you want her to hear at three in the morning?
A sample 60-second script
Replace the bracketed parts with your own words. Read it once, then put it down and talk.
[Name], congratulations. I recorded this [when], and I wanted it to reach you when the baby came.
Nobody tells you [one honest thing about new parenthood]. So I am telling you.
The thing that will make you a good parent is [one quality of her, with an example].
To the baby, if you ever watch this: [one sentence to the child].
I am so happy for you. Call me when you come up for air.
When to deliver it
This message can be delivered on a date, held until you release it, or tied to your check-in.
If the due date is known, you can schedule the message for a day or two after. Many people prefer to keep it on hold and release it themselves once the baby has arrived, so the timing is right.
If you want the message to reach your wife at her first baby even if you are no longer here, record it for the check-in as well. If you stop checking in, the message is delivered after the grace period, and your wife hears from you at the moment she most wants to.
Record it while the words are fresh
Free to start. Record on any phone, choose who it is for, and decide when it arrives.
Common questions
Is a video message to my wife for when she has her first baby something she can keep privately?+
Yes. The message is delivered only to her, by a private link. Nobody else can open it, and she can save her own copy after delivery. It is between the two of you.
My wife does not have children yet. Should I still record a first-baby message?+
Yes, if the thought moves you. Record it now, keep it on hold, and release it when the baby comes. If you are not here by then, a trusted family member or the check-in can deliver it for you.
Do I need special equipment to record it?+
No. Any phone, tablet, or computer with a camera works, in the browser, with nothing to install. Find a quiet spot with light on your face, prop the phone up, and talk.
Is it free to start?+
Yes. You can record and save your first message for free. Scheduled delivery dates and longer videos are part of the paid plans. Receiving a message is always free and does not require an account.